"Catholic"by John Chuchman

I strive to be Catholic

in the oldest and deepest sense of the term

with a sensibility grounded in mystical spirituality,

not parochial Roman Catholicism.

I try to be engaged in the pressing issues of the day

with a loving intelligence, freedom, and boldness,

self-confidently Catholic in its truest sense.

I treasure a heritage that traces all the way back

 to the greatest of early Christian theologians

who combined an unswerving embrace of Love and Faith

with a willingness to subject obscure or undefined elements of that faith

to critical examination.

I strive to dedicate my mind to follow the path of truth

wherever it might lead.

I am convinced that the tension between intelligence

and a heart committed to love

is a creative tension.

I appreciate both the necessity for truth embodied in specific forms and words

and the reality that truth transcends all such specific embodiment.

That this heritage is so imperiled in today’s church

makes it all the more precious.

The space I seek to occupy is a tight one,

difficult to maintain in a world

that insists I either mindlessly adhere to hierarchical teachings

or recklessly reject the wisdom of the past in the name of enlightenment.

In such a world, the notion that I can be liberal in some ways

while conservative in others

seems too difficult for many to grasp.

I find myself split between fundamentalists and modernists.

On issues such as the religious leadership of women

or the inclusion of homosexuals,

many invoke the unswerving authority

of fundamentalist Scripture or the hierarchical magisterium,

while I mistrust mindless obedience.

Meanwhile, the distance between liberals and conservatives

—an inadequate but unavoidable distinction—

inexorably grows,

deepened by chronic misunderstanding and distrust.

If the religiously liberal regard traditionalists as dumb sheep,

the latter regard the former as wolves out to ravage the flock.

Mutual acceptance remains difficult to find

and almost impossible to sustain,

and so the two groups drift ever further

into a kind of ghettoized separation.

I espouse liberal convictions,

increasingly finding myself at the margins of a tradition

many wish to freeze,

while I take refuge in a healthy growing conscience.

I feel more at home in a Small Faith Group

(Intentional Eucharistic Community)

than at the local parish.

The flight of Catholic intellectuals from the clergy and the parish

has led to a dismaying split

between a loving intellect

and the church as the repository of rite and ritual.

This loss of the loving mind

has had sorry consequences across the board,

as the church has severed the link

between critical thinking and faith.

In Catholicism, the tradition of the learned pastor is virtually dead.

Rare is the bishop or parish priest

who can hazard a critical reflection in a sermon

or other public setting.

The protectors of Catholic orthodoxy are vigilant,

ever ready to identify and judge me a heretic

for simply living and speaking my conscience.

Hiding my true faith, or abandoning it altogether,

is increasingly the price of friendship

with family and friends

who are willing to simply

pay, pray, obey,

a price I am unwilling or unable to pay.

I strive to be a Fundamental Catholic,

not a Catholic Fundamentalist.

I can

and must

use

my head AND my heart

Catholic evermore,

Roman never again.

I view the Creator,

Both noun and verb,

As BEING-in-Love

being closest to God

Being in Love.