Gospel of John 11:32-44
Laura Swan is a Catholic Sister and
member of a Benedictine Monastery in the Pacific Northwest.
In the Introduction to a book she
has written about desert spirituality, she describes that in her own life she
has come to know the desert intimately with
"all its painful stripping and
intense silence."
She has witnessed death, suicide and
changing relationships where life is one transition upon another. In all of
this she experienced a growing awareness of being called to monastic life.
It was during the time of her
initial formation in a monastic community that she encountered stories of the
early Christian desert dwellers.
She was captured by the stark
imagery of these dwellers who sought a passionate relationship with God.
The stories of the desert fathers,
or desert Abbas, were meaningful to her but soon enough she became frustrated
that stories of women were lacking.
She writes, "I began to pursue
and collect traces of these women's stories.
I found myself tracking down clues,
following strands of evidence, and reading the shadows of texts to find these
women. Clues often took the form of rare scholarly material, frequently in
footnotes and asides."
Her study culminated in a book
titled, The Forgotten Desert Mothers: sayings, lives, and stories of early
christian women.
Sister Laura authored her book among
a community of monastic women whom she says, "know beyond any shadow of
doubt that women are created fully and completely in the image and likeness of
God."
She says that this atmosphere affirms
and nurtures the gifts of men as well as those of women.
Sister Laura's research, writing and
contemplative prayer uncovers the ancient desert Ammas and brings them into the
light of the Communion of Saints for us, whose presence we can feel today, on
earth and in heaven.
Ancient Ammas sought to dwell in
remote geographical locations.
They could be found in caves, watch
towers, monastery cells and abandoned pagan temples.
They also lived as urban solitaries.
They sought uncluttered and silent
spaces to cultivate a burning love for God.
They worked to quiet the inner noise
so that goodness could flow through them.
They went to solitary spaces to
cultivate a tender and expansive heart that embraces the humanity of all.
Theologian Wendy Wright says that
listening in the desert tradition, "involves listening to the delicate
intersection of the human heart, with its desires and dreams, and the vast and
silent mystery that is God."
In solitude they would listen for
the ebbs and flows of the Holy Spirit which is fundamental to living a life of
discernment.
Desert Ammas lived lives of great
spiritual maturity.
Most central to this maturity was
their discipline of interiorizing sacred scripture and other sacred writings.
Deep within their souls there was a
blending of sacred text and daily life.
In silence they sought to cultivate
the language of heaven.
For desert Ammas, the inner journey
was everything.
Worldly acclaim was a threat to
inner authenticity.
Desert Mother Syncletica of Egypt
said, "Just as it is impossible to be at the same moment both plant and
seed, so it is impossible to be surrounded by worldly honor and at the same
time to bear heavenly fruit."
Desert Mother Theodora of Egypt said
that a teacher should be patient, gentle and humble as far as possible;
successfully tested and without partisanship, full of concern and a lover of
souls.
Desert Ammas were Wisdom Figures who
allowed God to prepare them so that they could bestow blessings on others who
sought them for spiritual guidance.
Desert Ammas would often leave their
solitude to listen to and guide the many seekers who traveled to see them.
~~~~~
Each one of us here today is like
Sister Laura who wrote this book about desert spirituality.
We have all had desert experiences
in our lives.
Perhaps we know the desert
intimately: loss or illness, death and fear, changing relationships and
transition upon transition.
Like the desert Ammas and Abbas, our
own hearts long for intersection with the vast love and mystery of God.
We yearn for the ever new and
hopeful face of the Divine through and beyond every struggle and sorrow.
Desert is not merely a geographical
space.
It is an inner reality wherever we
may happen to dwell physically.
Like the desert Ammas and Abbas,
each one of us here knows in our soul what it is to seek God's Word.
In our longing for union with God,
we all know the experience of paging through scriptures and reflecting on
various kinds of religious and spiritual writings.
Through the Word, we ourselves reach
for that deep intersection with the Divine.
We long for the Holy Spirit in these
writings to quench our thirst so that we may grow, so that we may expand our
hearts in blessing to others.
We do this not only as individuals.
As a community, we are desert
dwellers together.
As a communion of saints and seekers,
we are called to interiorize the Word together.
As a communal soul, in this
spacious, quiet sanctuary, we can
interiorize the syllables, the words, the images and the feeling of today's
Gospel---
we can allow the story of Mary,
Martha, Lazarus and Jesus to wrap around our hearts as we long for spiritual
growth and ongoing discernment~~
In tonight's Gospel, Mary kneels at
Jesus' feet and says, "Teacher, if you had been here, my brother would not
have died."
We know Mary's grief. We ourselves
have loved and have lost.
In heartache Mary draws near to
Jesus who is present.
The Loving Teacher is right there
with her. In her midst. Close to her.
Jesus sees her weeping and sees all
the others weeping.
He himself is deeply moved. His
heart is open.
It is when he is invited to go see
Lazarus, Jesus too begins to weep.
Together, in one another's presence,
they all feel the loss.
Though broken, they are sharing the
same heart.
The heart they share is the heart we
share today. It's the same heart.
Across time, across expansive
deserts, we are bound together in the human heart softened by humble divine
presence. The words on the page are alive.
They are real. They correspond
immediately with our lived experience.
This is a glimpse of what it is to
interiorize the Word.
The Holy Spirit is actively touching
and quenching in these moments.
The desert Ammas inspire us to be
drawn to the desert so that our hearts are made soft and are made expansive and
are transformed.
The desert Ammas inspire us to leave
the desert and greet our heartsick sisters and brothers wherever they are,
whoever they are.
The desert Ammas are our sisters in
the Communion of Saints calling us to a Christ inspired self-love; a self-love
out of which to bless the world so that deserts are transformed into gardens
and tears are turned into dancing.
The desert is never meant to be a
permanent dwelling place and never meant to be a permanent inner spiritual
experience.
The humble, divine Teacher will
always say,
"Take away the stone."
"Come out."
"Unbind him."
"Let her go."
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