The Readings: Isaiah 6:1-8; Psalm 138:1-8; I Corinthians 15:1-11 and the Gospel, Luke 5:1-11.
First we see the prophet Isaiah reflecting on a dream he had in which he senses/sees the awesome holiness of God. He responds that he is “doomed”– he does not belong in the presence of the Holy of Holies as he is a “Man of unclean lips, living among a people of unclean lips” and yet he has seen “the King, the Lord of Hosts/ the Ruler, YHWH omnipotent”.
The Psalmist responds with deep heartfelt thanks for God’s kindness and asks that God not forsake “the works of God’s hands”.
Paul describes himself as “the least of the apostles” not fit to be called an apostle because he persecuted the church, and he describes how hard he worked, with God’s grace, to spread the gospel.
And, in Luke’s Gospel, Jesus is teaching the great crowds near the shore, sitting in Peter’s boat. When he is finished he tells Simon (Peter) to go out “into the deep water and lower the nets for a catch”. Simon has already tried that and was putting the boat away for the night when Jesus chose get in it to teach at a little distance from the crowd. So he said to Jesus (we did that already to no avail, but) “at your command I will lower the nets.” When the nets were filled beyond belief Peter was in awe and knew that Jesus was no ordinary man or prophet and said, as Isaiah did, “Leave me, for I am a sinner”.
Jesus said to him “Do not be afraid; from now on you will fish among human kind. “ Then Simon and his partners James and John brought their boats ashore and left everything and followed Jesus.
In each of these scriptures the human response to God’s holiness, Presence, and power is first a sense of sinfulness, of not measuring up, of not being fit to be in God’s intimate presence and not worthy of the call to follow. And in each case God continues to call and accept the gift of those that are called. Then, as in the case of Isaiah, God cleanses/heals Isaiah’s unclean lips and calls him forth. Now Isaiah, cleansed, can accept the call: “Here I am send me”.
I know well these very human and understandable responses. They were, and sometimes are still, my own responses as well. I still say to God, “what on earth do you want of me with all of my faults? Dear God, you know me so well, how can you send me?” I know my own sinfulness and limitations as the prophets and disciples knew theirs. I sometimes still say to God, “I am not worthy of the call, and I am not worthy of the priesthood”. Fortunately, as God shows in the call of Peter and Paul and Isaiah, my worthiness is not required. (And, in fact, I am worthy because of Christ, even when I don’t believe it or feel that way!) God asks only that I do as Peter did, even in moments of disbelief-do what I am asked to do. Then,as I separate myself from what may hold me back including my own sense of unworthiness, I can join the great company of people with many human frailties that God uses to answer the prayers of others, and to serve “the least of these”, God’s people.
Something beautiful happened this week: a woman prayed and prayed and Pastor Judy Beaumont and I and our ministry were used by God to answer her prayer. Within the last two years, ‘Peg’, a newly widowed older woman, lost her job and had to live with one of her children whose spouse could not tolerate her. Seeing the spouses fight over her was very painful and one day she left and having nowhere else to go lived in the woods. She was actually able to make a go of this hard life for ten months and did not complain. She told those who asked her that she prayed every night that God would protect her and help her to live, and God has done this. She asked God’s blessings on all who were kind to her. She read her Bible but felt her clothes were not good enough to go to a church. Also she was disillusioned with the church, but full of faith in a loving God. Her sweet and upbeat spirit attracted many natural helpers to her who gave her what it took to survive outside until she got her own Social Security check-not an amount that facilitated housing in this pricy area. An influx of rough men, the recent heavy rains and threats of tornados and also a coyote in the woods brought new pressures upon her. A cat came to her little tent and soon they were best friends. When the cat took ill she took it to the Vet in the nearby plaza, Dr. Terry Sutton who is also our wonderful Vet. Dr. Sutton treated the cat and with Peg’s permission told us about Peg. Before I even called Peg on the cell phone to set up a meeting Pastor Judy B. recognized her on the plaza from Dr. Terry’s description and engaged her. I then came the next day and learned her story. Next we filled out an application for Senior Housing with her. But most of all we prayed that we would have an empty room behind the church, then filled with two men and a dog, so that she could live there until her Senior Housing was available. A day later one of the men called and said that he had saved enough to get a studio apartment and had moved out! Now Peg and her kitty had a home! She was ecstatic and was able to gather her belongings in two days and move in-just ahead of unseasonably cold, windy and rainy weather! She has attended a midweek meeting at the church and feels right at home. Her gratitude and joy is infectious and gives us new life. She said that we were her answer to prayer but we feel that she was an answer to our prayers, an affirmation of our call.
How amazing it is to be an answer to prayer when feeling the full weight of our own imperfections. God used us despite our failures and human frailties. How awesome is our loving God!
(Peg and I sit on the plaza and fill out an application for Senior housing. )
(Below on the right is Peg at church with two of our leaders, Brenda and Gary.)
Peg moving into her new room with great joy. Thanks be to God!