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Tuesday, December 29, 2020

"The Grace to Forgive" by Bridget Mary Meehan in a Promise of Presence by Bridget Mary Meehan and Regina Madonna Oliver

Unsplash- Junior Reis


"To you who hear me, I say: love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you."

Luke 6:27-28 (INT)



I recall hearing a story about parents whose teenage son was shot to death by a rival gang. The grieving parents made a tearful plea to young people who belonged to gangs to stop the violence. They offered forgiveness to the youth charged in their child's slaying and joined a program to help kids find a safe haven from drugs and gang warfare. This story and others like it are dramatic reminders that ordinary people are living the dream of reconcilia­tion that Jesus shares with us in the Scripture passage above.


Life offers us many opportunities for reconciliation every day. We need only look into the relationships we have with our family, friends, neighbors and coworker, and ask "Whom have I hurt? Whom have I mistreated? From whom must I seek forgiveness?"


A woman once told me that she and her sister had not spoken for years as a result of a disagreement they had at the time of their

father's death. Then one day, in the midst of preparing for her daughter's wedding, she realized how much she missed her sister and wanted her to be part of the festivities. "Suddenly," she said,

"it dawned on me that life is short and that I really loved my sister. So I called her and asked for her forgiveness for the things I'd said and did that hurt her. My sister cried when she heard my voice and asked for my forgiveness, too. I knew that it was time to let go of the resentment that I had held for all those years. After we recon­ciled, I felt peaceful and happy knowing that my best friend was back in my life."


Forgiveness is not easy, of course. It is a process that takes time, especially if it involves a deep hurt. We can begin by praying for the grace of forgiveness and realizing that it is God's gift to us. We cannot make forgiveness happen by ourselves. One way we might start is by asking God for the desire to forgive. In our prayer, we can approach the cross ofJesus and experience his infinite love for us and for the person we are trying to forgive. We can share with Jesus the wrong that has been done to us and ask for strength to treat the other person like we would treat Christ-  with kind­ ness, respect and compassion. We can open ourselves to the boundless forgiveness of Christ, letting ourselves be healed of our own pain. Then, as we experience our own healing, we can recon­ cile with the other person.


If we are unable or unwilling to forgive others, we risk becoming physically and emotionally ill. Being able to release guilt, anger, resentment and bitterness helps us grow more whole and holy. It can lift a burden from our souls and liberate our spirits. When we offer forgiveness to people, we help restore people to their rightful place in our lives. We acknowledge that reconciling our relationships with them is more important than clinging to our pain. When we forgive those who offend us, do good to those who hate us, and bless those who curse us, we experience the freedom, joy and happiness God dreams for us each day.



DAY 1

Close your eyes and breathe deeply for several minutes. Chose one relationship in which you desire reconciliation. In your imagina­ tion, go to the cross ofJesus with this other person. Open yourself to the infinite love ofJesus for you and for the other person. Share with Jesus the wrongs you have experienced in your relationship

with this person. Listen as the other person shares her or his side of

the story. Observe what Jesus says and does to heal the wounds of your hearts. Give thanks  for this experience oflove  and grace. (Because forgiveness is a process that takes time, you may want to repeat this prayer experience as often as needed.)


DAY 2

Position your feet on the floor and your hands in your lap. Close your eyes. In the quiet, concentrate on your breathing. Be aware of the air as it moves in and out of your nostrils. As you breathe in, contemplate  the love of God filling your entire being. Reflect on a relationship in which you have experienced deep pain. As you recall this relationship, open your hands and surrender the rela­tionship to God. Be receptive to all that God wants to do to heal this relationship. Imagine God's love flowing through you to the other person. Conduct a dialogue with God and with the other person. Pray that God's forgiveness may enable you to forgive yourself and the other person. Ask for forgiveness from the other person. Give thanks for the love God has revealed to you during this meditation.


DAY 3

Make this your prayer today:


Jesus, today  I come before your cross, where you forgive your executioners. I see your arms outstretched and I hear you tell me, over and over, how much you love me. When I fail , you reach out to me and speak loving words of forgiveness and healing. When I make a mess of my relationships because of my blindness, you forgive me. Your love is beyond my comprehension. Let the forgiveness that fills your heart overflow into mine so that I may forgive myself, ask forgiveness of others and forgive those who have hurt me.


DAY 4

Pray the prayer of Jesus on the cross: "Abba forgive them. They don't know what they are doing." Pray it slowly and meditatively for a few minutes as a prayerful mantra, and focus on those who have wronged you. Repeat this prayer often throughout the day, imagining Jesus , within you, helping you to reconcile each relationship.


DAY 5

Make this your prayer today:


I sing to you, Holy One, a joyous song!

I proclaim your compassion day after day. 

You hold me in your embrace and assure me that no failure can ever separate me from you. 

Your strength within me assures me that with God all things are possible. 

Your wondrous love provided a safe refuge in times of  struggle and chaos. 

Let heaven and earth sing your glorious praise. 

Again and again, You walk with me as I forgive my self for my failures to love, especially (name persons). With your strength this day  I open myself to being honest and tender in my relationships. I

forgive the people who have hurt me, especially (name persons).

I seek forgiveness for the harm I have done to others, especially (name  persons).  I will  do all I can to reconcile and live in peace, especially with my family, friends, neighbors and coworkers, especially (name specific relation­ ships). 

 I trust that your grace dwelling within me is doing immeasurably more than I can hope or imagine.


DAY 6

Reflect on this petition from the prayer that Jesus taught us: "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." How can you live this prayer more fully, especially today? Pray this petition for people with whom you want to experience recon­ ciliation:


Forgive me my failures as I forgive (name persons)  who have harmed me.


DAY 7

Make this your prayer today:


Healer of Hearts, I desire to live your plan of reconciliation in my thoughts, words and deeds. May I be slow to criticize my neighbor and quick to make amends for my failures. Show me where and how I need to change so I can be free to love others as you love them. Help me to humbly ask forgiveness of those I have hurt, for I am an earthen vessel: human, vulnerable and imperfect. Give me a healthy dose of patience with the people who get on my nerves and remind me that there are no doubt those who find me equally obnoxious. Hold my hand and walk with me as I try to change my negative behavior and thought patterns. Let me look into your eyes and see the love I need to make a new beginning. Speak your words of encouragement  to me, Holy One. I am listening.

BMM



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