Bridget Mary Meehan
October 15th is the feast day of St. Teresa of Avila.
Teresa was a woman who loved life, lived it fully, knew her own sinfulness, felt the emptiness that God alone could fill, and discovered abiding peace in the presence of God. I think Teresa is a great mentor for spiritual seekers and reformers today.
As an adolescent, Teresa went out regularly, frequently without parental permission. She lied to her father about an affair with a man she hoped would marry her. Teresa recalled that when she was no longer a virgin, they put her in a convent. After becoming ill with heart problems, she returned home.
Shortly afterwards, she decided to enter the convent to save her soul. Her mother, whom she adored, had died when she was eleven. She had a close relationship with her father. Leaving home to enter the convent was a devastating experience: " I can remember completely what it was like, and in sober truth I don't think that the pain will be more when I die then when I walked out of my father's house, for I felt as if my very bones were being pulled apart."
(As I reflect on leaving home at 18 to enter the convent, I put on a brave face, but felt sad as this was the first separation from my family. Now 45 years later this wonderful group of women , our band" is planning a reunion of the "ins and outs". There is a special spiritual bond that we continue to share that is deeply rooted from our shared memories and prayerful presence. When we entered the convent in 1966, we were 90 strong, and had no idea where God was leading us. Now, the joy is, we stay connected on a listserve and support one another with prayer and words of affirmation and encouragement.
Today families are torn apart by gut-wrenching pain when they are separated for long periods of time-- immigrants, military etc. The blessing now is that there is an internet and we can communicate with loved ones across the miles and time zones.)
After entering the convent, Teresa continued to care for her ailing father until his death. " I suffered much hardship during his sickness. I believe I served him womewhat for he trilas he suffered during mine." (There are many care-givers today who are walking in Teresa's shoes and can identify with her compassionate service to her beloved Dad. )
After her father's death, Teresa lived in two worlds. She longed for intimacy with God. On the other hand she was distracted by the social life that convent living at the time. (Apparently, these were the big party days!)
When she was forty years old, Teresa saw an image of Jesus in agony that changed her life. "The vision of Christ left upon me an impression of his extraordinary beauty, and the impression remains today." From that time on, Teresa grew closer to Christ and developed a way of practicing the presence of God which Teresa desribed as an intimage sharing between friends. (Autobiography 8:5) She could share everything- her joys, sufferings, failures, victories- with her beloved friend, God. On one occasion Teresa's wagon got stuck in mud as she was crossing a river. As she watched her supplies float away, Teresa heard God say to her: "This is how I treat my friends.' "Then its no wonder," she responded, " that you have so few!"
Her deepening prayer life led Teresa to reform the Carmelite Order. After prayerful reflection, Teresa decided that it was time for a renewal of religious life. She would initiate communities in which the 'primitive rule' would be followed where women would live as passionate disciples of Christ through prayer and asceticism. Teresa believed that the fruitfulness of prayer was demonstrated in daily living. "What value God places on our loving and keeping peace with one another, the good Jesus places it before anything else. "
When Teresa wrote her Autobiography, she was under scrutiny for heresy by the Spanish Inquisition for visions and raptures. If she had been convicted, she would have been burned at the stake like many others. Her prayer and reform agenda had become threats to church authorities. Sr. Joan Chittister's analysis: "Her prayer was too personal and ... too Protestant...She was hardly anti-Semitic enough since her father himself was Jewish, and she was starting something new."
Teresa had a cheerful disposition; she did not put up with "sour-faced saints" and she enjoyed play. She often entertained her sisters, instrument in hand, encouraging them to lighten up and share laughter with one another. Although she was a busy reformer with a big agenda traveling the length of Spain creating a new form of religious life during the last twenty years of her life, Teresa had time for recreation and fun. She knew that what we accomplish is not as important as the love in our hearts... Like Teresa we can experience a passion for God in our passion for life. (Makes me wonder if Teresa would be an advocate for women priests if she lived in our time, or perhaps a leader in our movement for justice for women in the church. One thing she would not be afraid of the wrath of the hierarchy as she experienced that first hand with the Inquisiton. And she would be a lively fun-loving companion on the journey. )
Teresa died on Oct. 4, 1582. She was cononized by Pope Gregory XV and declared the first Doctor of the Church on September 27,1970.
Teresa's words continue to inspire generations of spiritual seekers. Her "Bookmark Prayer is one that we can use again and again to calm our nerves, center ourselves, and let go and let God be in charge of our lives. Then as night follows day, wondrous things will happen--maybe even a vision or two of God's love that will sweep us of our feet! Teresa has left us contemporary saints-in-the-making that we are, a sound prescription for holiness, one we can find if we talk and walk with God. (This reflection is from the chapter on Teresa of Avila, in Praying with Visionary Women, Bridget Mary Meehan/ Sheed and Ward, 1999, pp75-80.)
Prayer by St. Teresa of Avila
"Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
Everything is changing;
God alone is changeless.
Patience attains the goal.
Who has God lacks nothing.
God alone fills all our needs."
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